As someone who was born painfully shy, with little self-esteem, I made friends with the “act as if” method (also known as “fake it ‘till you make it”) in high school. I went from a quiet sophomore to a confident, wildly-dressed junior, all thanks to my drama club and one very empowering exercise.
See, my drama teacher didn’t call it “acting as if.” But for a variety of circumstances, we had to write our own play that year, and it was based on characters that we all created one day. She had simply said, “Choose a character that’s a complete stretch for you — someone so far removed from yourself that you’ll have a tough time playing it.”
What she didn’t tell us was that we would be playing that character in the school play, not just for that day’s club meeting.
I chose a punk rocker, and they brought in a real punker to make sure my makeup and hair was authentic. She put me in extensive black eye makeup, black lip liner around bright red lips, and a pink faux-hawk. When I saw the girl in the mirror — the one that looked nothing like me — I was almost instantly transformed.
While in costume I met a guy who would become a good friend, and he showed me that I could access that confidence anytime. Suddenly I was spiking and bleaching my hair, wearing tight jeans and spiked belts. I wasn’t dressing like a punk anymore, but I was a full-out new waver (this was in the ‘80s, as you might be able to tell).
So I acted as if I was a confident, trendy chick instead of a shy, awkward mouse, and became that…
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