Okay, I admit it… life isn’t always “perfect”.
Well, that’s not entirely true… it’s “perfect” for what “perfect” is, meaning perfectly as it’s meant to be.
It’s just not “perfect” the way most people define “perfect”, especially certain students — and even teachers — in the spiritual growth arena, who tend to think (or at least give the impression) that we’re supposed to be 100% positive, all the time.
24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Never get angry, never get upset, never show any emotions that could possibly be construed as “negative”… because that’s not what spirituality, personal development, or self growth is all about.
Right?
Well, actually, that’s a dangerous trap to fall into. And I admit, I have fallen into that trap on more than one occasion… thinking that if I argue with someone, or we get angry at each other, that things are falling apart and something is not as it “should” be.
But everything happens for a reason, even if that reason is just a darned good learning experience.
And although it’s a “should” in itself (kinda ironic), we should never “should” on ourselves.
Life is a spectrum of emotions, a spectrum of experiences, and a spectrum of ups and downs. That’s how it’s meant to be.
And in case you’re wondering what the heck the new movie 27 Dresses has to do with all this… read on, and I’ll fill in the blanks before long…
Barry and I started arguing almost two years ago, when we first “met” by email.
He was dating someone else, I was married, and there was no romance between us… but we were two strong-willed people who were passionate about what we did, and that meant that sometimes we would clash.
When we started working together 18 months ago, we knew it would happen even more… and sure enough it did. We poured our hearts, souls and passion into a project called Masters of the Secret — and sometimes all that pouring meant some of it got spilled, some of it splashed out, and some of it got all over the other person.
We’re still two strong-willed people who are passionate about what we do — except that now we do it together, all the time, day in and day out — so that means even more clashes (and more passionate clashes, because we’re also passionate about each other).
So where do the 27 Dresses fit in?
Well, this morning we had one such clash. The reason for the actual argument is inconsequential, and I can barely remember even now what started it… but it revolved around misinterpreted energies and not letting go of the past.
Life is about being right here, right now… just like this song from Jesus Jones that I sing to myself every time I want to remember that:
We think we know what we’re experiencing now based off what we’ve experienced in the past. But sometimes that’s not true.
We think we know what other people are doing or saying based off what others have done or said in our past. But sometimes that’s not true either.
And when we can tune into the right here, right now… that’s when we truly learn, grow, develop and shine.
Instead, Barry and I decided to get away from each other for a few hours in order to think and cool down.
And what that ended up bringing about were a series of synchronistic messages and events that led to 27 Dresses… and even more synchronistic messages.
First, as Barry sat in his car in the park, five squirrels charged it and ran around underneath before scurrying off again. When they left and he tried to start the car, the battery had died.
Did they cause that? Not likely, although it felt to him at the time that it could be a possibility, especially since I love squirrels (and nearly all rodents) and used to raise orphaned baby squirrels for the Toronto Humane Society.
Then as I was poking around my Facebook account, in between editing an interview and uploading it to the server, I clicked on Barry’s profile link and saw an ad on the left that said, “Eldorado Reno Hotel. Stay and play at the luxurious Eldorado in Reno for $69 and receive the 2nd night free. Offer includes 2-for-1 show tickets”.
So first of all, I had been researching that hotel the previous night because we’re thinking of driving to Reno in a few weeks, and that hotel had the best reviews on one of the hotel review sites. But I had been doing it on my other computer, so there were no bots picking up favorite search terms or anything; it was just there.
Secondly, the cost is “69” and that’s a favorite number of Barry’s, because… well, ahem… because that’s the year he was born (no, really!)
Third, that was the best rate I had seen yet for the Eldorado. So it really caught my attention, and I felt it was quite a strong nudge towards going (and not just thinking about it). Pretty synchronistic all around.
But it gets better than that!
Soon afterwards, I knew that Barry was headed home and that there was still some tense energy between us; and I wasn’t up for prolonging the argument, so I decided that now would be a good time for me to leave the house again.
When we had been looking for a movie to go to the previous week, he had called 27 Dresses a chick flick; so I thought it would be a good idea to walk over to the movie theater and grab an early show by myself… the chick flick that he would never watch with me.
On the way, I wandered around a store for a few minutes, then walked along the highway, noticing how many white SUVs there were; but the chance of any of them being Barry’s was incredibly slim, especially since he had no idea I’d be walking around… and of course none of them were his.
Then as I was waiting to cross at the lights, and stuck at the meridian halfway across the street, a white SUV pulled up right in front of me. I knew it was him, even though there was no way it could be, because the recently-broken sunroof is held in place with bright yellow duct tape, and I could see it from where I was.
Well, another white SUV could have yellow tape on the roof… right?
But no, as the SUV turned right onto the part of the street I was waiting to cross, Barry opened the window and called out, “What are you doing?”
I pointed ahead towards the movie theater, but he yelled, “Stay there!” and drove around the block to get me.
Well, we talked it out in the car and realized that we had both made some mistakes, we had both misinterpreted things, and we had both been comparing the other to somebody else. We were both wrong, we were both right, and it was all good.
Some more synchronistic things had happened since we’d been apart, and running into each other there, in the middle of nowhere, against all odds, was only the icing on the cake that let us know it was meant to be.
But he knew I had walked a long way to go to the movies, so he drove me the rest of the way to the theater. When I said I wanted to go to the chick flick, he said he could either drop me off and pick me up later, or go in with me; my choice.
Of course, there was nothing more I wanted at the moment than for him to be with me, and watch that movie with me. And he did. He was one of three men in the theater, and the other two were also with women; but 99% of the audience was female.
Hey, when you find a partner like that — one who will do anything to make you happy, no matter what; one that puts your needs before his own, one that makes you feel special — that’s something to appreciate, cherish, be grateful for… and reciprocate.
It was one of the best experiences of my life, because of all that happened to lead up to it, and I spent the entire time being amazingly grateful for what I have.
And two lines from the movie really stood out for me… when Katherine Heigl says to her new love, “Even though I didn’t want to hear it, everything you said was right about me,” (or something like that), it rang true and reminded me of what we had been through that day.
And when she said, “Fighting with you was the best thing that ever happened to me,” well… come on! After our long history of passionate fights, how much more synchronistic can you get?
What I re-learned today (it’s not the first time I’ve learned it) is that it’s okay to fight. It’s okay to argue. It’s okay to disagree. And it’s definitely okay to express yourself and your emotions to the one you love, because that’s what love is all about.
And when Dr John F. Demartini said in my interview for Masters of the Secret that “we’re not meant to be” positive all the time, because the Universe is in balance and the law of polarity states there’s a “negative” for every “positive”… well, he was absolutely right.
And since Barry and I spend 95% of our time together with extreme highs, joys and happy experiences, it’s to be expected that when the lows hit, they’ll hit hard.
That’s balance… and that’s life.
The way it was meant to be.
Keep Unwrapping the Mysteries of Life!
