What does it take to make a life-long dog lover, who has always disliked cats, into a bona fide cat lover?
You have to shift his (or her) values… through the power of love.
Dr. John F. Demartini — who I interviewed for Masters of the Secret — says that everything we do, everything we notice, everything we excel at, everything we succeed at, is based on our value system.
And so is love… you can’t love what you don’t value.
But sometimes loving another person makes you look at their values in a different light. And that means a shift in values based on that love.
Earlier this week, Barry and I took Jupiter out to the park on a leash for her first journey outside. And in this picture, you can see that he has genuinely turned into a cat lover over the last six months or so… and not just our own cats, but he loves looking at cats in the pet store now, and will even take an unannounced side trip there if we happen to be driving remotely nearby.
So how did that happen, when less than a year ago he said he hated cats?
It’s all my fault.
Since I love cats, and show a soft side of myself when I’m interacting with them, he grew to appreciate and then to love them himself.
Of course, it helped having two friendly cats who begged for his affection practically every waking hour.
And how have my values shifted?
Just as Barry used to hate cats, I used to hate sports. I had no patience for them, and never wanted to be with a guy who liked to watch them.
But sports are very important to him; he was a basketball player in high school, and grew up embracing the ideals and people skills that teamwork can bring us.
Some of us work in teams in the business world; and what we learned about banding together and supporting each other while in our formative years playing sports can be a big boost.
Barry gets inspiration, not only from team players, but from the best coaches in the world who have led their teams to victory, time and time again.
So since it’s one of his values, I’ve decided to play along too.
SuperBowl Sunday, we went to a SuperBowl party together; and then last night, I went to my first live high school basketball game since… well, at least since I was in high school myself, but maybe my first ever — because I don’t remember attending a basketball game in high school.
We’ve also been playing basketball together at the gym — something that I haven’t played since Grade 7 or 8, and never had a real desire to do, because to me working out has always been a solo venture — machines, not team sports.
But now I’m realizing the value of playing with someone else — because I listened to my heart and let Bear’s values expand into mine.
We all have our own values that we hold near and dear… and often those values may not mesh up totally with the values of our life partners.
But at some point, they need to overlap –to be shared, especially when the values are strong — if we want to stay with that person, and if they are truly an important part of our lives.
And it’s beautiful when you see an obvious shift in values… and know that the shift came about 100% because of love.
Keep Unwrapping the Mysteries of Life!
