Today I had my first Swedish massage… you know, the kind where you get naked and get rubbed all over with oil.
I’ve had Rolfing done a few times, but Rolfing doesn’t usually use oil; being lubed up is an interesting feeling, and makes the hands glide more smoothly over your skin. (The point of Rolfing is not to use friction-based motion, so the oil isn’t really required).
Okay, I do have to clarify — Barry has massaged me several times with the whole oil production (and he has Rolfed me several times too)… but I’m talking about a professional massage where I actually paid someone to use their years of expertise and training and give me the best their magic fingers can deliver.
The masseuse was Donna Schmid, who also runs the meditation group we attended last week. And that actually allowed her to use her intuition and previous experience with me to pinpoint some incredible things.
I talked to her about two physical concerns of mine: the final phases of colitis (I say final because I am convinced that I am almost healed, and that any recent flare-ups are caused by emotions rather than actual physical issues) and my occasional back pain (usually as a result of bad posture or sitting in a funny position, combined with the slight Scoliosis-induced curvature of my spine).
But it turned out, as we spoke, that Donna was able to connect some dots for me.
Most importantly, my digestive issues of late seem to be tightly tied to what I’m going through with Wil. Every time a wrench gets thrown into the divorce proceedings, my stomach reacts; and apparently I talk about the relationship with him in a similar way to how I talk about the colitis (saying that it’s “almost healed”, for instance).
And the basis of my emotional blocks that are allowing this to happen are a common feeling of not trusting myself and my intuition, and not being worthy of a better life. I know I feel some guilt as well, which is just making matter worse (I know in theory that guilt is one of the most destructive emotions we can have, and that living in the now means not regretting the past; but still, sometimes it’s hard to control those feelings).
However, just realizing these things — and having what I thought validated by a professional (there’s that lack of trust in my own intuition again) — has been a huge step forward. As Donna worked on my arms, legs, back and neck, I felt more than my body relaxing.
In fact, I emerged from the session feeling that my spirit had been cleansed, and that my whole being was more relaxed… from the inside out. The massage was physical, but it affected me on an emotional level (just like my emotions have been affecting me on a physical level).
In a couple of weeks, I’m going back to Donna to get a Shamanic healing. In the meantime, she advised me to pick up a book on chakras so I can better understand how my blockages are affecting me.
This new leg of my journey is proving to be quite exciting and powerful, and I’m looking forward to achieving great results that I can share.
Keep Unwrapping the Mysteries of Life!