The Interrupted Proposal

It’s official…

Barry proposed to me today! 😉

Yes, even though we’ve been talking about getting married for some time now… even though it already feels like we ARE married (and a lot of people assume we are)… I was holding out for a real, old-fashioned proposal.

I’ve never been proposed to before, and it’s an experience I wanted to enjoy.

Okay, that’s not entirely true.  Marilyn Manson (yes, the goth-inspired singer) did propose to me once at a bar that I was bartending at, and he was hanging out at with a mutual buddy, one of the radio DJs from the local alternative music station.  But his two different eyes kinda freaked me out, and besides, I was already married at the time, so… I had to turn him down gently.

And the reason I was previously married without ever being proposed to was that I had read an article in the paper about Sadie Hawkins Day (Feb. 29) one leap year.  The tradition said that if a woman proposed to a man on Sadie Hawkins Day, he either had to say yes or buy her a red dress.  I figured there was nothing to lose (red was my favorite color and I could have used a new dress!) so I did it — no fanfare, no forethought, just an off-the-cuff question — and the rest was history (except that it took another six and a half years to actually get married, but that’s a different story).

Anyhow, I didn’t want any repeating patterns in this relationship, so just “getting married” wasn’t in the cards.  Turns out Barry’s a romantic, too, and wanted to do something special when he proposed, so he decided to wait for that opportune unique and memorable moment…

This morning we went to my OB appointment together, and he got to meet the doctor who’s going to deliver our baby for the first time.  Then we ran a few errands, like visiting a couple of pediatrician’s offices, grabbing a quick lunch, etc.

As we drove past the park that we used to live next to — where we played Frisbee, took walks, and enjoyed spending time together during our first year as a couple — he took a turn in, and said he wanted to shoot a video for the community.

That’s not unusual, so I didn’t think anything of it.  I did ask if he wanted his backpack to be beside him on the picnic table, or out of the shot… and when he said it was fine, I asked if he was going to pull something out of it.

But I didn’t expect what he did pull out of it!

After a heartfelt emotional outpouring that had me in tears (heck, I was crying at the OB’s office because they played “To Sir, With Love” over the sound system — pregnancy hormones gone wild — but this was really a tear-jerking moment!), he pulled out a heart-shaped diamond engagement ring that I had told him I really liked, actually got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him.

And between tears, I managed to say yes!

Then as we were kissing (and of course all of this is on video, by the way), we heard “Awww!” and an old woman who appeared to be homeless came over and started talking to us.

She asked how long before the baby was due, and then she saw the ring box and asked if Barry just proposed to me.  When he said yes, and that he needed to finish his job, she still hung around, asking for a few bucks “to get a coffee” because she was out of money waiting for an inheritance from her father, which would take another week, blah, blah, blah… then asked again about the baby, if we knew the gender, yadda, yadda, yadda…

So a beautiful life-changing moment “caught on tape” (or, SD card, rather) was interrupted and put on hold by someone who thought her life, her desires, her immediate wants, were more important than anyone else’s (or, at least ours).

After she finally left (with the video recording the whole time) we did have a minute or two left on the card to capture a final wrap-up of the proposal, but it still makes me wonder what she was thinking.

It’s true that we’re all stars of our own lives… but sometimes being a star means taking a step back and letting the light shine on someone else.

So we let our light shine on her… and maybe next time she’ll let the light shine on the couple sharing a romantic wedding proposal together, instead of needing to be center stage.

Her choice… just as everything we do, everything we don’t do, everything we say, and everything we don’t say is a choice.  Our choice, and our choice only.

One thing’s for sure though… since she decided to take her moment in our spotlight, she’ll forever be a part of our history.  She’ll be told in the story, she’ll be shown in the video, and she’ll be immortalized in the combined life of Barry and Heather… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

That was her choice!

Keep Unwrapping The Mysteries of Life!