Boomhauer Goes To Vegas

… and Aerosmith calls for a recount. 😉

But more on that story in a moment...

So another season of America’s Got Talent just came to an end, and with it came a lot of, “Holy $@*&!” and “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!” in our house.

It got so passionate around here that Barry thought about writing a blog post himself, but he knew it would just get him too angry, and the smoke was pouring out of his ears like a Detroit smokestack as it was. He decided it would be best just to walk away.

See, he hates injustice even more than I do (or at least, he’s more demonstrative about it)… and injustice was definitely served on AGT.

If “America” truly did vote for the winners, then “America” certainly is playing it safe these days, and going with the status quo, as well as predictably flocking to underdogs as usual. It’s pretty sad, really, but to be expected.

The winner is 35-year-old unemployed chicken catcher Kevin Skinner, a folksy backwoods kinda guy who tries real darned hard to sing.

He’s been compared to Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent. And I can see why… after all, I wrote an article about Susan, and how people tried to keep her down even after she FINALLY started getting out of her comfort zone…

And when I used her as a perfect example of how people love underdogs, and don’t like people who go out and achieve things on their own, people from around the world called me cold and harsh.

It’s almost like they didn’t read the article, but let their emotions take over and cause an over-reaction, thinking I was putting Susan down when in fact I was commenting on people who wanted to keep her down. Completely different!

And I’m sure if Skinner starts slicking himself up, making himself over into a Garth Brooks or Dwight Yoakam, people will be up in arms again. “Stay like one of us, Kevin!” they’ll all cry, just like they did to Susan.

The thing is, Susan can actually sing… and sing well, regardless of what you think of her style of music.

Kevin Skinner can’t.

Commentary seems divided on this; some people love Skinner, and some hate him. Check out any of the videos of him on YouTube, and you’ll see both extremes. But still, I’ll probably get some nasty comments for pointing out the painful truth here. After all, as Zap2it’s Andrea Reiher says, based on her critique of Kevin:

If the comments on my article from the other night are any indication, Kevin Skinner is JESUS and I am a puppy-killing devil. [eye roll]

She goes on to say:

This show is a joke. “Talent?” Kevin Skinner is awful and he’ll probably win and that is terrible. I’m not saying anything bad about him as PERSON. I’m sure he’s a very nice man. But this show is not called “America’s Best Sob Story” and the fervor with which the judges were fellating Skinner last night is gross. Also: the American public is full of idiots.

Hey, Andrea, I’m with you. We’re on completely the same wavelength here! Good for Kevin, coming out and giving it all he’s got. That doesn’t mean he deserves to be headlining in Las Vegas, a million dollars richer than he was yesterday.

Kevin Skinner is far removed from what people go to Vegas to see.

He reminds me of Boomhauer, from King of the Hill, with a bit of Forrest Gump thrown in.

I can just hear him now:

Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ talent show, man, you just go in there and sing, and all, man, and play a little bit, and bang bang bang, you’re a star, ya know, it’s real easy, man.

Here’s the thing. The competition was tough this year. And Skinner even making it to the Top Ten was a coup for him. A dream come true. And that’s where it should have stopped, if he even got that far.

The Fab Five is a kick-ass dance troupe of beautiful sisters who are very Vegas-worthy; Recycled Percussion is a kick-ass percussion group of hot guys who are very Vegas-worthy. The two acts performing together would make a mind-blowingly amazing showcase.

But people don’t go to Vegas to see solo country acts who can’t stay on pitch.

Look, I have nothing against country acts… if the singers can sing.

I have nothing against solo acts… if they can put on a good show (funny thing, though… most of the acts in the Top Ten were solo acts; it’s almost like the masses are voting against teamwork, and group cohesion, because groups with that kind of ability to work together don’t represent the underdog).

I have nothing against small people with big dreams, doing what they can to get out of their comfort zones and achieve something they want that seemed inconceivable just a year before.

In fact, I applaud that kind of ambition and drive.

But when a contest is looking for “talent” to headline a show in Vegas, and walk away with a million dollars to boot, I expect the winner to be the most talented — or among the most talented — of everyone competing.

That’s just not the case with Skinner.

Here’s Kevin’s rendition of Aerosmith‘s Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing:

YouTube Preview Image

He didn’t miss every note, but he was flat on most of them. His supporters say he’s got so much heart, but I just don’t see it in his performance — he comes across like a nervous guy who just got forced to sing karaoke.

Piers said, “You’re currently unemployed, we’re in the worst recession America’s seen in a long time; what better way to get America coming out of this recession than to have you win America’s Got Talent?”

And that’s probably at the heart of what went on behind the scenes at AGT. I can see it now: “Yeah, we’ve gotta have that Skinner dude win. Give America some hope that dreams still can come true!”

But Aerosmith — the band whose song Kevin sang in the finals — is a classic American symbol, and Kevin practically slaughtered, like a chicken, one of the most emotional songs they’ve ever written.

As Barry says, “Anyone who massacres the song of an iconic band like Aerosmith should be thrown from the stage immediately!”

To make it worse, that used to be one of Barry’s favorite songs.

Sure, the average Joe on the street can’t relate to superstar rocker Steve Tyler as much as he can to unemployed country dweller Kevin Skinner. But the show isn’t “America’s Got People You Can Relate To,” or “America’s Got Status Quo,” or, as Andrea pointed out, “America’s Best Sob Story.”

It’s America’s Got Talent. And Skinner might have some potential, as well as apparently some fans, but he just doesn’t have the talent to warrant a win.

And now for comparison… this is how the song’s supposed to go, performed with heartfelt emotion by Aerosmith — I picked the live version to make it fair:

YouTube Preview Image

Hey, I’m sure Aerosmith is being gracious about it all, saying they’re honored and so forth. I was kidding about the recount thing (although Barry thinks they should ask for one, after what Skinner did to their song).

But you know what?

This really isn’t about Kevin Skinner at all.

Like I said, I applaud the guy’s drive. I know people who sit, season after season, just watching shows like this, and wishing they had the guts to try out. Skinner actually went out and did it.

It’s not Kevin’s fault that he won. Good for him.

The real issue here is the attitude of America… people want to support a down-and-out type that they can relate to. It was obvious throughout the whole final episode.

First, Barbara Padilla was chosen, and Hairo Torres wasn’t. Barbara has another underdog story, bigger than Hairo’s underdog story… but Hairo has an amazingly unique talent, and dances like nobody I’ve ever seen. Barbara’s a good opera singer, but she sounds just like every other opera singer I’ve ever heard. Nothing new there (and hey, who goes to Vegas to hear opera, anyhow?)

Then Voices of Glory was chosen, and Lawrence Beaman was not. Again, Voices of Glory have the biggest underdog story, and they’re kids, and they sing religious songs, and how can anyone not support them, and blah, blah, blah. Bottom line is, as good as their voices were, Beaman was better.

Then The Texas Tenors were chosen, and The Fab Five were not. I already told you what I think of The Fab Five. The Texas Tenors are cheesy, which is okay in Vegas, but The Fab Five were much better performers… I’ll bet that the reason The Texas Tenors were picked is because even their name represents the good ol’ US of A. Yee-haw! People can relate to that (and maybe “The Fab Five” sounds too cocky for some people).

Then Skinner was picked, and Drew Stevyns wasn’t, even though Drew also has a story of struggle, and he’s a better singer. Hey, that’s okay, I’m sure someone will give him a record deal.

The only good choice of the night was Recycled Percussion beating out the marginally funny Grandma Lee, who shouldn’t have been in the Top Ten either.

Yup, it seems like the consensus all around, for the most part, was to vote for the biggest stories of struggle instead of the biggest shows of talent.

The problem with the consensus mindset is that it keeps people stuck in a rut… and can lead to bigger problems.

It causes them to buy a particular brand of beer because they think it will make them more attractive to women (it won’t).

It causes them to buy a new car because they think it’s a good idea to trash their old clunker for “cash” (it’s not).

It causes them to get a flu shot because they think it’s safe and effective (it’s not).

It causes them to think the Law of Attraction is the only universal law worth thinking about after they watch The Secret (it’s not).

And the other problem with the consensus mindset is it sends lemmings and buffaloes over cliffs to their deaths.

Keep Unwrapping the Mysteries of Life!

6 comments to “Boomhauer Goes To Vegas”
6 comments to “Boomhauer Goes To Vegas”
  1. WAY TO GO HEATHER 🙂 And your article is WHY I don’t watch AGT in the first place even though many of my aquaintances do.

    Make it a super day/night!

    Syl

  2. What bothers me is that seemingly intelligent people even watch television and shows like that one in particular and expect them to be anything other than a joke. We are talking about marketing, not talent so get with the “program” or turn the TV off but stop complaining.

    Grant

  3. I always had the same opinions about beauty pageants. Why call them beauty contests when winning had more to do with political correctness, being a “nice” girl, and image.

    I had always hoped that people rooted for the under dog out of a sense of compassion and admiration for their efforts. But you are probably correct, they root for the ones with whom they can identify. If someone is an underdog due to a mental disorder or overcoming an addiction, they have few people rooting for them.

    But underdogs are not the only group that benefit from skewed beliefs. Even newscasters seem to believe that the wealthy do not commit violent crimes, (“You would never expect a crime like that to occur in this upscale neighborhood”); that police don’t lie; that all wealthy people became successful because they are hard working, honest, and principled, and therefore should be granted special consideration; they think that statistics never lie or mislead; and for the sake of brevity I won’t complete the list.

    It’s true that thinking for oneself, then living according to those beliefs can result in people misunderstanding you, misjudging you and sometimes some unpleasant consequences. But to do otherwise is to become or actually disappear as one of the faceless or masked masses.

    However, when I say masses, I am not necessarily referring to just the common man. There are many faceless or masked prominent individuals as well. And many of them are aware that much of the information distributed as truth, is not based in fact but manipulated for the purpose of maintaining or gaining power and influence.

    Disappearing into the masses or behind a mask are the result of fear, apathy, and sometimes self serving hidden intentions.

    True freedom can only exist when we are willing to have the courage to face our fears.

    The lemmings did get a bad rap for a time, but I was unaware that they did it to the buffalo, too.

    [Heather’s REPLY]:

    Hi Lauren,

    Some good points!

    As for the common belief that violent crimes don’t often occur in affluent neighborhoods, committed by wealthy people, it’s because in the vast majority of cases, that’s true. Crime is often fueled by desperation, and the want for money and/or power; wealthy people already have money and power, and quite often had to work hard to get there, so they’re not as likely to resort to crime (and, as a result, throw it all away). They understand what it takes to succeed, and have proven that, so the stakes would be exceptionally high if they even ever thought about doing something stupid like committing a violent crime.

    Regarding the buffaloes… native people used to hunt them by driving the herd off a cliff, killing them in the fall. It’s hard to do that with one buffalo, so they’d at least do several in the herd — and once the animals start stampeding, they’re acting with crowd mentality, similar to the way an audience at a concert will all pull out lighters for a slow song (or, these days, hold up their cell phones) when a few people start.

    cheers
    Heather

  4. I found your article totally entertaining. It takes guts to speak out about the stupidity that seems to engulfed the world. I’m really surprised there aren’t hate comments here. It’s mind-boggling the way people think, or don’t think would be more accurate. It’s too much trouble you know…

    I don’t have TV. I have much better things to do than to get sucked up in the garbage. You know, things like eating a great meal, taking a walk, and reading good blogs like this one!

  5. Sorry you fill the way you do, but guess there were millions around the world that have a different ear for music than you.So what 2-3 people think and write about don’t meen S**T…Thanks

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